OMG WTF…

10 Dec

Everything under control Reagan playing with a box full of toys in front of the babysitter or as its commonly known  CBEEBies, lamb in the oven along with parsnips roasting a pan full of taters on the stove coming nicely to boil and about to pour boiling water over the sprouts (I know sprouts and it not christmas? She’s American all rules go out the window!) and the time hit 18:30 time for Reagan to start snacking so I go in to her and collect up all her toys and notice an aroma?

It couldn’t be coming from beautiful angelic little bundle of niceness that is The Reaganator….could it?

So I placed my hands under her out stretched arms to lift her in to my bosom (errr well you know what I mean….I hope?) and immediately felt a warm moisture squelch through my fingers NOOOOOOOOO!

Having already plunged me hands in, I stuck with it and lifted her up and carried her upstairs to the bathroom knowing this was going to be a bad one. Now at over 23lbs its tough going carrying her with my arms straight out in front of me but that wasn’t as bad as the smell jeez. All the way up the stairs she was smiling and giggling as if nothing mattered in the world, nothing probably did in her world because dad will sort it!

So I get her upstairs and lay her in the bath, wash me hands and dash downstairs to check tea wouldn’t ruin for 10 minutes and then dashed back upstairs, grabbing wipes and bags from the bedroom returning to a confused but happy Reagan laying where I left her. Assessing the situation it was clear there was no way of avoiding putting my hands in poop once again as there was now poop coming out of her collar at the back….

Standing Reagan up and getting her to hold on to the side of the bath I began the task of removing her clothes, trousers first were easy as the poop went up not down. The sleeved top was OK too although we were both now covered, then I lifted the back of her onesy and the full extent of my task became apparent. I crashed straight in and began to wipe as much of it away before attempting to take off the onesy, in the end once her arms were out of it I just dragged it over her head while she held on to the bath smiling and wondering what all the fuss was about? I was trying to smile to show there was no problem but all the while wanting to gag!

Once naked I wiped the remnants of the poop from her body then laid her on a towel by the bath so I could wash away the poop and fill the bath up with warm water for her bath, all the while singing and smiling trying not to spook Reagan, then dashing down stairs to check tea wasn’t burning.

When the bath was lovely and toasty warm with loads of suds, it was time to wash her off and Reagan loves bathtime so she was happy, it just wasn’t as fun for me as it usually is because of the dirty nappy, clothes and wipes in the basin right by me nose.

An unexpected sound was then heard by both of us from downstairs “Eh up, dudes?” mommy was home wondering where her family was as she was climbing the stairs, and she showed real concern as she popped her head around the bathroom door by bursting out laughing?

Thanks Dude! 🙁 “

…and that was it, after that we worked as a team to bathe and dress her and clean up the mess then finish making tea, which wasn’t bad all things considered!

My memory of the whole incident will be the sight of an undigested raisin on the back of Reagan’s neck, having passed through her body exiting aft and almost travelling externally back to source (#GAGS#) I don’t think I will ever eat a scone again!

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