Why is the carpet round the bog wet?

28 Feb

Gets ‘ome tonight…from the pub…needing to…shall we say “piss like a stores horse”

I crept in and locked the door behind me and sorted me self before creeping upstairs, to find Jamie awake?

Anyway, after sitting on the bed next to her and chatting for what seemed like ages I remembered I needed to go to the toilet. It was at this point I thought I had reached senility and age had finally caught up with me and overtaken me…I stood in front of the bog and me feet were wet and I couldn’t remember having a piss yet? Looking down I realized I hadn’t got him out yet, OH NO were my pants wet? Please don’t let me pants be wet! Having a tentative feel around confirmed I hadn’t pissed me self so what the hell was going?

Anyway I won’t go into detail about what happened next but once he was safely put away again I needed to find where this water had come from, and even drunk it didn’t take long. The radiator was leaking from the valve and needed to be sorted or we would be in deep shhh… water by the morning!

With Reagan asleep opening the loft hatch hatch right outside her door was going to be tricky but necessary as me adjustable and monkey wrench were up there. It was noisy and Reagan did wake but I managed to get it shut again and once it was quiet she was asleep pretty quickly.

Tightening a compression joint is a simple task sober but drunk so much can go wrong the worst was I over tighten and it bursts completely non of this happened though I gave a slight twist and dried the pipe off and for the next five minutes wiped it with a dry finger and it stayed dry job done.

Not what I expected to be doing upon my return home but look on the bright side at least I’m not incontinent and for a split second there I wasn’t sure lol now the only problem I have is I can’t remember where I put me spanner and wrench…..

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