“Hummmmmm?”
Reagan’s bedtime was eased to 20:30 on Monday night because she is napping at about 19:00 so we thought keep her awake and to bed earlier. Not sure Reagan saw it like that she was awake yesterday morning an hour earlier lol the little….any way it was down to me to do bedtime again last night because mommy was off to the gym again for a little mommy time.
As she left Regan was dozing but began to fuss and cry just as mommy disappeared, not too bad because I quickly sussed that she was wet but it was bath-time so I just took her upstairs and laid her on the changing table while I set the bath running. I was no where near as nervous as the last time I did bath-time but still could feel a little panic trying to remember everything I should do. The bath was ready and I stripped Reagan down and wrapped her in the duck towel she loves so much.
“hang on where did all this duck stuff come from…?”
Carefully I placed her in the bath and began to wash her and she seemed to enjoy the water and I sort of enjoyed watching her splash about but my job was to wash and wash I did, even shampooing her hair this time but only because I realised I hadn’t used soap up to that point, just a flannel, doh! Not to worry she’d had a good wash and now we were done, but on taking her out of the bath she starts to scream blue murder, our little daughter does not like to be cold, so straight back into her towel she went.
Once dry and in a lovely talced nappy I dressed her in her onesy for the evening and laid her on the bed while I went to make a bottle, this didn’t go down too well as our daughter doesn’t like to be kept waiting for food either! When I returned a minute or so later after rushing around like a blue arsed fly preparing the bottle we lay down and she drank her lovely warm milk supper. After finishing it she was almost asleep and it was very tempting to just leave her there but I needed to wind her and successfully got a huge burp from her after only four good pats on the back!
We then lay on the bed together and I carried on telling the story of how mommy and daddy met which she was interested in for about 5 minutes then drifted off to sleep, and so did I…..
Doing bedtime wasn’t so stressful tonight!
This morning I didn’t feel too good mentally because I had what I can only describe as my first nightmare for a very long time, I am not going to go into detail but “if anyone dare touch a hair on her head, then I’ll fight to the last breath” I think it came from my fear that I may not be able to protect her forever and I want to….!
Watching Jamie today (and everyday) I saw a “mother’s love”, something I don’t think I knew what it meant, until I watched mother and daughter together today breastfeeding. Mommy was completely relaxed and looking straight into Reagan’s eyes with Reagan taking life from mommy. Reagan was looking back in the absolute complete knowledge and trust that the warmth, love and food she gives makes her feel safe and good!
Jamie makes sure Reagan is happy so much of the time that “A baby crying” is quite rare in this house and when you hear her cry and that bottom lip curls and tears flow it heart wrenching…..but then you think hang on a minute has she actually got any reason to scream and cry like that when in actual fact she’s just a bit hungry….? It can be very frustrating being a parent but I suppose its the only way she knows how to tell you something’s wrong You just then have to work out what it is, and this bit gets easier over time! Mommy can tell you 9 times out 10 whats wrong from another room just by the sounds Reagan makes and I am picking that talent up too!
So yesterday was dominated by the football and we had an early dinner to accommodate it, why any England fan bothers to go to so much trouble is beyond me, but we do? On reflection we just were not good enough in any of the four games and never looked like world beaters at any stage of any of the matches.
Yesterday, we were outplayed in every area, and even a disallowed but perfectly good, goal should not become an excuse for our exit! At two nil down we looked like we could concede at every German attack but then we scored and very shortly after that, we should have been level unfortunately, for some inexplicable reason Lampard’s goal was not given? What we didn’t need was half time to come because they really “did not like it up em!” After half-time we were never at the races and it was embarrassing to watch our national side ripped open so easily and look decidedly inert up the other end! It was all over at 4 – 1 down but for me, when the manager needing to chase the game, brought Heskey on I stopped watching choosing instead to have a look at Facebook or chat to anyone who would listen, until we were finally put out of our misery?
Over paid big time charlie’s that can’t play basic football and make the mistake of believing their hype!
It’s disappointing to watch and we should be used to it, but we believe we have a chance until we have our noses rubbed in it by a half decent team and sent home with our tails between our legs! My feelings have certainly changed since the last world cup and I certainly won’t be loosing any sleep over our woeful performance because this bunch of over rated prima-donas won’t be either. They will jet off on their holidays today (extended by two weeks, because they lost!) not giving a shit about it, so why should I?
I have realised that there are far more important things in life…!
Tonight we were sooo very tired and Reagan was sooo very hungry and we didn’t know what to but then, Jessica Eyres Came to our rescue:
…and Reagan was loving her tea when up popped Hannah Eyres?
…it was such a surprise that daddy had to restrain her so that Reagan could finish her tea!
…and by the look of the last photo Jack loved seeing Tizzy Eyers too!
Last 16 match today for England and if they are to progress then they will have to beat the Germans, a team we have had many a tussle with over the years and apart from 1966 we have in the world cup come out second best to them but generally the matches are tight and nervy affairs to watch and I expect today’s match to be the same.
2010 FIFA WORLD CUP
GERMANY v ENGLAND
27 June 2010 15:00 KO
BELIEVE!
Last couple of days have been really hot and there just hasn’t been time to sit in front of a computer and blog but in brief, Jamie had a friend over from her Pre natal yoga class and was so happy when I got home from work telling me of the baby notes they had swapped all afternoon and the general chat she shared it was like a breath of fresh air to her! Pay day Friday too so because it was so hot we decided to have a take out from the Chinese restaurant in town delivered. Good food and cold beer we had a great evening and Reagan went down good as gold too!
Saturday Jamie was up for the 5:30am shift so I got up at 7am and took Reagan so Jamie could sleep but I was so early I arrived at me mums house after a long walk before she was even dressed! Got back to our house and the plan was to go car hunting as ours died a couple of weeks back, I’d seen one at the Garage we took our car too so we decided to look at that one first and it turned out to be a good move because it was an immaculate looking Ford Mondeo on a 1999 V plate and when we had a look inside it was huge so we took it for a drive and fell in love with it. I can’t say it ticked “ever box” but barring a lottery win we won’t find better, we just have to wait for the garage owner to return from holiday and see if he is prepared to sell it at the right price? If he is then by next weekend we will be car owners again 🙂
Yesterday afternoon we tried to sit in the garden but the heat beat us and we ended up all in the living room where it was coolest but while we were out there it was fantastic, cool beers Reagan playing under an umbrella music on perfect!
Last night the big game was on and we settled in front of the TV to watch USA v Ghana but unfortunately the result after extra time was a disappointing 2 – 1 loss for the U S although they’ed looked the better side at times it just wasn’t to be.
We all had an early night…
Reagan was weighed at the clinic again today and was a healthy 13lb 12oz which makes me so proud that she’s doing so well, and I know I say this a lot but it really is a credit to how Jamie is raising her and the time she puts in everyday to make her that way. The other big thing she did today was go and have her first set of immunisation shots for Whooping Cough, Tetanus and Polio which is never nice even when you know that’s coming but if you’ve NEVER experienced any pain in your whole ‘short’ life it has to be a little traumatic to say the least. Jamie said although she let out a terrible scream once it was over she settled and then just slept so I’m pleased about that.
Mommy doesn’t get all that much “me” time any more so it was nice for her to join a gym this week which she’d wanted to do for a while and she had scheduled her orientation for this evening, meaning I was going to be responsible for bedtime which filled me with a little trepidation I have to say!
When it came time for her to leave Reagan was asleep on the living room floor but this didn’t last long after mom left and the fussy squeak and then the ‘come and entertain me’ cry meant I had to stop doing the washing up and sit down with her (and watch Japan v Denmark 😉 with Reagan on my knee we played for a while… in fact almost an hour but then she remembered she was hungry but it was also bedtime. I laid her down on the chair and prepared to take her for a bath but once the bottle was made Reagan decided she wanted it before the bath so I fed her that and made another 3oz just in case.
When the bath was run my stress levels were very high as it’s not something I feel comfortable with but I set about the task as mommy had told me. After testing the water temperature for the millionth time I lowered her in and she was quite happy for a while just to splash but then I washed her using the magic night-time soap and quickly washed her hair and that was me done toooo stressful! Onto her duck towel and wrapped up warm we then went to the lotioning table for an all over natural calm aroma bedtime rubdown before being dressed in the cosiest onesy money can buy followed by a swift milk top up and another chapter from The Specials biography.
Mommy returned to a very awake baby which I think is because she is so interested in my reading matter and gets bored quickly with princesses, princes and fairies yawn! Damn! Mommy took over so I could reduce me stress levels a little and Reagan was asleep very soon after.
It was stressful and wasn’t very slick but I will improve given the opportunity and I don’t think Reagan was too traumatised by the whole experience either?
“Reagan says mama twice”
I never saw myself as a dad, it was just one of those life decisions you make knowing “you can’t miss something you’ve never had” (as the saying goes), but things can happen and your outlook can change. Now I am a dad it frightens me to think that I may have missed out on the joy it has brought me just because I thought I didn’t need or want children?
Reagan is coming up to 8 weeks old and the thing I have noticed most is how attached you become over that short space of time, from nervously taking a baby into your arms, moments after it enters the world not even knowing how to hold it or what to do with it, to now where I don’t know how I went so long without feeling the joy in my heart everytime I see her which I hope never wears off. The fact that I would do anything to make her happy and could not live a moment without her no matter how tired or stressed or frustrated she makes me because it pales into insignificance when whe looks at you and smiles just because its you.
After almost 8 short weeks I already know I would do anything for that little girl I call my daughter!
Yes, I am still learning the ropes and that will probably always be the case but I hope the learning curve isn’t quite so steep as it was at first for me. The best thing you can have to help you become a good dad is a fabulous wife! “behind every great man there has to be a great woman!” well I’m not sure about her being behind me because she seems to be in front leading the way in everything we do? Jamie is everything Reagan and me could ever need all rolled into one, she just makes things all that bit easier by rolling up her sleeves and getting on with it! If she has one weakness it’s a lack of self belief which is absolutely incredible to me when you hear her in one breath say “I have waited for my whole life to meet you Reagan, you are my life” then in the next breath doubt everything she’s doing as a mom and think herself a failure?
Jamie brings it all together with her devotion to both of us and we really do appreciate it, and I have to tell her never doubt herself just stand back and look at how very happy and healthy Reagan is you’re doing everything right DUDE!
Reagan for me just makes me warm inside, to see her react to my face or smile when I talk, it’s not wind and it annoys me when people say it is. When you talk to her it absolutely facinates me to watch her eyes flick from my eyes to my mouth watching how I shape it and listening to the sound and then watching her face as she tries to shape her mouth and work out how much air to blow out to make a sound and then try and put it all together. Tonight I got her to say “mama” twice in a matter of 3 minutes and caught them both on video, we played them back and Jamie wasn’t convinced but I am and I am also convinced that by this time next week she will be saying mama all the time! Watch this space!
I want to finish today by saying becoming a dad is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and if anyone reading this is thinking of choosing not to have kids just think about that decision again and make sure you’ve made the right one, before its to late to do anything about it! Finally, if I was granted just one wish I would wish that any couple who can’t have a baby, be granted one because that’s just not fair!